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Wednesday, August 14, 2013


As the circle of darkness envelops my life I look around to see, to find any sort of light within the darkness but my eyes fall upon total darkness. I look through my past and really look to see if I ever found or experienced what is known as true love but I found out that love has escaped me.

After some serious thought I have found out with my life that I live it is far too late to try to bet...ter myself now it seems I don’t live anymore I just exist and nothing more. The more I look I find myself so far away from what seems to be my darkness called life and it seems too late for changes. It is too late to save myself and it is way too late to be saved.

From this point on I have decided to pack up my certifications and erase my title of a Pastor/Reverend. I am not either. I am so far lost that I can never be found again. I really don’t know if I want to be found so please do not seek.

The year of 2011 has brought nothing but pain and suffering which I am sick and tired of. 2012 is a new year for most but not for me. The pains from 2011 have sunk its claws into my flesh. I exist each day that is all. At this point all I ask for is to survive. They say life is what we make of it then it seems that I have failed in making a life.

It is now 2013 and it is 3/4th the way gone and what have I done. I just don't understand what I did to get life so wrong. Really is this all that it is. I sure hope not God please help.